use right hand or left hand?!
I've been at my current job for 8 days now and there are things to look forward to but also a couple of sh*tty issues as well. What I can look forward to is learning more about the A/P role and gaining more experience. But you know what, I had this thought earlier today that this should be the last time. Not only for an A/P role but also that maybe I shouldn't be doing this clerical processing stuff anymore. Maybe I should be doing higher-level stuff. But in order for that to happen, I have to get my act together and finish my courses. Get the certificate or CMA or whatever and move on. I just don't think I'm suitable for this kind of work. It seems simple, and it probably is to most people, but somehow I struggle with it. Ripping reports, scanning/reading tabular documents (eg: invoices, reports), sorting and filing into folders, etc.
I've been doing this stuff for 8 days whereas all the other people there have been doing it for at least 8 years. I think it's easy for them to think that I should be able to get the hang of it after 2 weeks. And I am getting the hang of it. It's just that I'm not mentally and physically processing the stuff as fast as they seem to be expecting of me. So either I'm not as fast as I should be or they just have unrealistic expectations. I wonder if they have had anybody do thist stuff as fast as them after less than 2 weeks? If they have, did those individuals do similar stuff in a previous job? Because I haven't.
My old job was more data entry, more computer work, less volume with regards to paper work, less details, no invoices, and no reports. Here was the opposite. I'm okay with that but it concerns me that their expectations and my current performance are not matching up. Either they are not realistic or I'm not good enough. I've had struggles regarding speed in a number of other jobs. And it was always the physical handling of paperwork, not data entry or computer work, that slow me down.
So I think that in the long-term I should probably be doing something else than this sort of thing. Not only because of the type of work, but also the salary too. I cannot imagine myself still doing this after 35 years old. And certainly not 40.
I want to be here just for the experience, kill time while I study, and make the dough I need to pay for the things that I need or want. But I will need to make it through until at least January of 2010. Hopefully that's when I would have already done the CMA exam and know the score so that I can continuing making plans. If I don't pass, then I'll just finish the last few courses and get that accounting certificate. And then probably do an operations management diploma. But that one is offered only as full-time at BCIT so maybe I would have to look at other schools. There is part-time too but I'll have to see how to plan out the career path because right now I don't have a lot of idea. BCIT offers a number of options but I dont't know which one is more suitable for me. For accounting I know because I understand the field a lot more. But I mean, I only took accounting because it was easier to find a job. Never really had an interest in tracing the whereabouts of pennies. Maybe higher-level stuff would be more applicable to me, but I have to study for it.
Anyways, back to the topic at hand. So I was separating reports like I do every day two times a day. At first I was separating the reports by each P.O. # and then folding them. But my co-worker "MW" was able to do it so fast that I was wondering how she did it. I didn't watch her but I heard constant ripping sounds. So I decided that maybe ripping them page by page first before folding would improve the process. And it did. I'm sure she showed me doing it that way, but I guess it didn't stick to the top of my head long enough. So anyway I was ripping each page and simply piling them up until I was finished. I had my left hand holding down the unripped report while my right hand was separating the page. Another co-worker "AT" (she was gr.10 at Charles Best when I was gr.8) thought I was doing something else and showed me how she does it. It turned out, to me anyway, that what she was doing was also what I was doing - ripping page by page into a pile and then folding. The difference were: speed and.... she had her right hand holding down the stack and used her left hand to pull the pages off. As I couldn't see what the real difference was, process-wise, I continued doing what I was doing even though she mentioned to use the right-hand to hold down the paper and left-hand to rip the pages. So she goes, "Are you not happy with the way I showed you?" and I was like, "I don't see the difference."
But you know what, this is so f*cking lame that I can't believe it's actually happening. I can't believe I'm actually being dictated to use left hand or right hand. What the hell?!
But f*ck it, I'll use my right-hand to hold down the paper and my left-hand to rip if that makes them happy. I'm not sure what these people are thinking. While AT was showing me, MT (who normally teaches me the stuff) came by and saw and thought I wasn't doing how she does it and thought I just liked to do my own thing and not take people's advice. What the f*ck. Why do I have to use my right-hand to hold down the report while my left-hand is doing all the action? AT knows that I'm right-handed. Just because she's been spending the past 8 years doing it that way and she's also right-handed doesn't mean I have to do it the same way. It would be such a f*cking waste of time debating over left-hand versus right-hand. My Mom uses her left-hand to hold chopsticks but she writes with her right. So is she left-handed or right-handed? Well, why the f*ck would it matter?? I'm right-handed but there are things that I do better with my left than with my right. Right-hand left-hand shouldn't even be the issue here because it's symetrical. As long as the process is the same. And the process is the same. The only functional difference (ie: what really matters) between me and AT is that her hand movements are faster. Another thing is I tend to pull the page in 2 or 3 rips rather than one long rip. That will make a difference in the speed. She pointed that out and I'm fine with that. But the left-hand right-hand thing? And she (and MW) thinking that I wasn't doing the way they did it,... that is just so f*cked up.
It's not like I just like to blank my mind out against people and just do whatever the hell I want without listening to people. My hands aren't as fast as them. My eyes aren't as used to reading the stuff as they are. And my mind isn't as fast as they are when it comes to the mental processes that develop and kick in for each specific task. In other words, this hasn't become 2nd-nature to me yet. Yes I've been doing it every day now for 8 days. But excuse me, that's eight days, not eight years. Give me a break. F*ck.
What's going on, everybody having their period at the same time or what??
Another example, and it came up today too, was when I was helping "AS" pull "Receiving" (ie: the backup that we get every morning from Receiving) to match with the invoices that were received separately apart from the shipping. I asked if I was to put it in one pile and AS said yes. And later MW said I have to listen to what I was told. What the. But then it was a miscommunication. I should've stated the steps clearly to confirm before I proceeded. AS probably thought I meant the Receiving that I found for the invoice would go one pile. Because she did say to put the other invoices back in the folder. Somehow my mind ignored that and asked her if they went in one pile. I was thinking it to be odd that I should be putting it all in one pile, but I didn't speak up to clarify. And I guess in this job I have to really speak and clarify things. MW even said not to assume anything. But one challenge for me to overcome is to work my mind with these people. I would ask something or start saying something to clarify but before I was able to finish, they would interrupt and do their own explanations. So then I would have to reset my mind and process things according to their explanation and not stick with whatever mental process that is currently running about as I try to understand things. So then my face may go blank for a moment as I readjust, they see it and think I'm slow in understanding. Well, maybe I am, I'm not sure. It's just that my mind is running a certain train of thought that is different from that of my co-workers and I'm jumping from one train to the other. Especially AS, she speaks so fast that I haven't even finished processing what she said and then she'll repeat or say more and then I would have to interrupt my current mental process, put that aside and run another process to interpret the new statements she may be making. But one thing I dislike even more is that when I try to say something in my own words in an effort to understand a procedure, MW seems to ignore that and simply repeat herself in her words. In other words, she seems to expect me to understand things according to the explanations as she has given them and in the exact words that she used. If I tried to explain the same thing in my own way, it wasn't accepted. Well, that kind of sucks. In my previous job, SY totally allowed me to explain things my way so that I can understand. MW doesn't seem to allow that. What the f*ck.
Yet another example, also from today, was this particular invoice. It was actually an invoice from "Sysco Corporate" (ie: the headquarters in Houston) but I wasn't thinking that it was that, so when I was given a pile of those invoices and was told they were already sorted according to P.O. #, I got a little confused. I was confused because I knew I had to pull Receiving and match it up with each invoice. But the Receiving folders were all placed alphabetically according to vendor name. MW thought I wasn't doing what I was told. Hello?? It just simply didn't occur to me that those were invoices from Houston. Because if it did, then of course I won't have been confused because I also know that the Receiving for Sysco Corporate are filed by P.O. number.
And besides, I am not the type of person who will blindly and robotically do what I'm told without understanding why. And understanding means to understand that particular process or detail in relation to the whole picture. So if you only tell me details, then there is nothing to understand. All I would be doing is simply memorizing stuff. It's kind of like the difference between data and information. Data is just numbers and stuff that don't actually mean anything if it can't be used. Information is Data that is meaningful and can be used to make decisions.
So is there anything wrong with my thinking? Am I missing anything here? What can/should I do in order to form a bridge at par with my co-workers? I mean, this is only the second week. How am I going to make it through the next 20 months?
I've been doing this stuff for 8 days whereas all the other people there have been doing it for at least 8 years. I think it's easy for them to think that I should be able to get the hang of it after 2 weeks. And I am getting the hang of it. It's just that I'm not mentally and physically processing the stuff as fast as they seem to be expecting of me. So either I'm not as fast as I should be or they just have unrealistic expectations. I wonder if they have had anybody do thist stuff as fast as them after less than 2 weeks? If they have, did those individuals do similar stuff in a previous job? Because I haven't.
My old job was more data entry, more computer work, less volume with regards to paper work, less details, no invoices, and no reports. Here was the opposite. I'm okay with that but it concerns me that their expectations and my current performance are not matching up. Either they are not realistic or I'm not good enough. I've had struggles regarding speed in a number of other jobs. And it was always the physical handling of paperwork, not data entry or computer work, that slow me down.
So I think that in the long-term I should probably be doing something else than this sort of thing. Not only because of the type of work, but also the salary too. I cannot imagine myself still doing this after 35 years old. And certainly not 40.
I want to be here just for the experience, kill time while I study, and make the dough I need to pay for the things that I need or want. But I will need to make it through until at least January of 2010. Hopefully that's when I would have already done the CMA exam and know the score so that I can continuing making plans. If I don't pass, then I'll just finish the last few courses and get that accounting certificate. And then probably do an operations management diploma. But that one is offered only as full-time at BCIT so maybe I would have to look at other schools. There is part-time too but I'll have to see how to plan out the career path because right now I don't have a lot of idea. BCIT offers a number of options but I dont't know which one is more suitable for me. For accounting I know because I understand the field a lot more. But I mean, I only took accounting because it was easier to find a job. Never really had an interest in tracing the whereabouts of pennies. Maybe higher-level stuff would be more applicable to me, but I have to study for it.
Anyways, back to the topic at hand. So I was separating reports like I do every day two times a day. At first I was separating the reports by each P.O. # and then folding them. But my co-worker "MW" was able to do it so fast that I was wondering how she did it. I didn't watch her but I heard constant ripping sounds. So I decided that maybe ripping them page by page first before folding would improve the process. And it did. I'm sure she showed me doing it that way, but I guess it didn't stick to the top of my head long enough. So anyway I was ripping each page and simply piling them up until I was finished. I had my left hand holding down the unripped report while my right hand was separating the page. Another co-worker "AT" (she was gr.10 at Charles Best when I was gr.8) thought I was doing something else and showed me how she does it. It turned out, to me anyway, that what she was doing was also what I was doing - ripping page by page into a pile and then folding. The difference were: speed and.... she had her right hand holding down the stack and used her left hand to pull the pages off. As I couldn't see what the real difference was, process-wise, I continued doing what I was doing even though she mentioned to use the right-hand to hold down the paper and left-hand to rip the pages. So she goes, "Are you not happy with the way I showed you?" and I was like, "I don't see the difference."
But you know what, this is so f*cking lame that I can't believe it's actually happening. I can't believe I'm actually being dictated to use left hand or right hand. What the hell?!
But f*ck it, I'll use my right-hand to hold down the paper and my left-hand to rip if that makes them happy. I'm not sure what these people are thinking. While AT was showing me, MT (who normally teaches me the stuff) came by and saw and thought I wasn't doing how she does it and thought I just liked to do my own thing and not take people's advice. What the f*ck. Why do I have to use my right-hand to hold down the report while my left-hand is doing all the action? AT knows that I'm right-handed. Just because she's been spending the past 8 years doing it that way and she's also right-handed doesn't mean I have to do it the same way. It would be such a f*cking waste of time debating over left-hand versus right-hand. My Mom uses her left-hand to hold chopsticks but she writes with her right. So is she left-handed or right-handed? Well, why the f*ck would it matter?? I'm right-handed but there are things that I do better with my left than with my right. Right-hand left-hand shouldn't even be the issue here because it's symetrical. As long as the process is the same. And the process is the same. The only functional difference (ie: what really matters) between me and AT is that her hand movements are faster. Another thing is I tend to pull the page in 2 or 3 rips rather than one long rip. That will make a difference in the speed. She pointed that out and I'm fine with that. But the left-hand right-hand thing? And she (and MW) thinking that I wasn't doing the way they did it,... that is just so f*cked up.
It's not like I just like to blank my mind out against people and just do whatever the hell I want without listening to people. My hands aren't as fast as them. My eyes aren't as used to reading the stuff as they are. And my mind isn't as fast as they are when it comes to the mental processes that develop and kick in for each specific task. In other words, this hasn't become 2nd-nature to me yet. Yes I've been doing it every day now for 8 days. But excuse me, that's eight days, not eight years. Give me a break. F*ck.
What's going on, everybody having their period at the same time or what??
Another example, and it came up today too, was when I was helping "AS" pull "Receiving" (ie: the backup that we get every morning from Receiving) to match with the invoices that were received separately apart from the shipping. I asked if I was to put it in one pile and AS said yes. And later MW said I have to listen to what I was told. What the. But then it was a miscommunication. I should've stated the steps clearly to confirm before I proceeded. AS probably thought I meant the Receiving that I found for the invoice would go one pile. Because she did say to put the other invoices back in the folder. Somehow my mind ignored that and asked her if they went in one pile. I was thinking it to be odd that I should be putting it all in one pile, but I didn't speak up to clarify. And I guess in this job I have to really speak and clarify things. MW even said not to assume anything. But one challenge for me to overcome is to work my mind with these people. I would ask something or start saying something to clarify but before I was able to finish, they would interrupt and do their own explanations. So then I would have to reset my mind and process things according to their explanation and not stick with whatever mental process that is currently running about as I try to understand things. So then my face may go blank for a moment as I readjust, they see it and think I'm slow in understanding. Well, maybe I am, I'm not sure. It's just that my mind is running a certain train of thought that is different from that of my co-workers and I'm jumping from one train to the other. Especially AS, she speaks so fast that I haven't even finished processing what she said and then she'll repeat or say more and then I would have to interrupt my current mental process, put that aside and run another process to interpret the new statements she may be making. But one thing I dislike even more is that when I try to say something in my own words in an effort to understand a procedure, MW seems to ignore that and simply repeat herself in her words. In other words, she seems to expect me to understand things according to the explanations as she has given them and in the exact words that she used. If I tried to explain the same thing in my own way, it wasn't accepted. Well, that kind of sucks. In my previous job, SY totally allowed me to explain things my way so that I can understand. MW doesn't seem to allow that. What the f*ck.
Yet another example, also from today, was this particular invoice. It was actually an invoice from "Sysco Corporate" (ie: the headquarters in Houston) but I wasn't thinking that it was that, so when I was given a pile of those invoices and was told they were already sorted according to P.O. #, I got a little confused. I was confused because I knew I had to pull Receiving and match it up with each invoice. But the Receiving folders were all placed alphabetically according to vendor name. MW thought I wasn't doing what I was told. Hello?? It just simply didn't occur to me that those were invoices from Houston. Because if it did, then of course I won't have been confused because I also know that the Receiving for Sysco Corporate are filed by P.O. number.
And besides, I am not the type of person who will blindly and robotically do what I'm told without understanding why. And understanding means to understand that particular process or detail in relation to the whole picture. So if you only tell me details, then there is nothing to understand. All I would be doing is simply memorizing stuff. It's kind of like the difference between data and information. Data is just numbers and stuff that don't actually mean anything if it can't be used. Information is Data that is meaningful and can be used to make decisions.
So is there anything wrong with my thinking? Am I missing anything here? What can/should I do in order to form a bridge at par with my co-workers? I mean, this is only the second week. How am I going to make it through the next 20 months?
posted by Tongster at 4:29 PM
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