wedding

There's a girl whom, I assume, first met on MSN for mp3 requests. We don't talk much and according to her Facebook she goes to UC Davis. Anyway, 8 years younger than me and looks quite decent judging by the photos. And then this guy leaves a note saying he loves her and he'll always be there, etc.

Breaks my heart when I imagine the chances that I lose because I wasn't there with so-and-so (could be anybody) as she faced the various challenges in her life that arise with each stage (ie: university, job finding). So many girls out there, not just in Canada, but also many down in the States. I do think I'm missing out.

And then, after going to the gym after work, I went to Burrard Skytrain Stn and the violin guy (moutache, glasses) started playing the Canon just as I walked by and, damn, the vision of a wedding procession just pops up in my head. The beautiful bride walking down the aisle as the groom (me?) stands waiting in the front. Will this ever take place?

I don't know. I sometimes get the feeling that something big is going to happen in the future and that a lot of people will be affected and that I have to deal with it and, if I was to have a family, it will not be good for them. Will the kids survive? Will the next generation become adults?

Or maybe it's just myself. Maybe I won't live to be a grandfather. Maybe I shouldn't even get married if I was going to die at like age 40 or something and leave my beloved wife to be a widow. Screw this. Don't let it happen to me please.